It’s been a minute since I’ve written but here I am. It’s been difficult to muster up the energy to write let alone do anything. I’ve been waiting to go to college and start my journey, but my school doesn’t start until the end of september so I have a few weeks. At the beginning of my summer, college just seemed so far away so surreal that I couldn’t get excited about something that was so far away. Now that it’s getting closer things are starting to hit me; the realization that I’m leaving my nest, I’m leaving the home and life I’ve made here, and I’m going to be on my own. On my own to make my own mistakes and to face my fears. At my school they have this thing called “Welcome Week”, they have events planned from the time of move in until school starts. This is all fine but my own experience with these mingling things are haunting me because I’m scared I’m going to be off to the side while I watch others have fun around me. I know this is something that I can control but habits die hard. I’m going into a career where you’re supposed to go out and mingle and here I am too afraid to go to a party that hasn’t happened yet.
I’ve never been good at making the first move, all my friends came about from the other person making the first move. I have an intense fear of rejection. In all honesty this post is kinda difficult to write…I don’t know but the words just aren’t flowing out of me the way I would like. Maybe I’ve got writer’s lag? Fucking lame, I know. So instead of writing about my feelings I’m just going to…
Vice Guide on what to do when you find yourself awake in the middle of the night
I’m not sure about anyone else but I have some difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep so this is what I do (or could do) when I’m up way before the sun.
First step is just to admit you’re awake and probably not going to sleep at the time that you aimed for. It always seems to happen right when you know you have to wake up early. It sucks and worrying about going to sleep will only keep you up longer. Sure, the whole “if I lay here with my eyes closed maybe I’ll fall asleep” trick might work sometimes but 95% of the time it won’t. So the first thing you should do is just come to terms with it. If you over think it you’ll only cause stress and then your brain can’t relax. So just sit up and take deep breaths a few times (sometimes just breathing can make you sleepy, in the event of this you should seize that short window and stop thinking and let the chemicals do their job). If you’re like the rest of us, this won’t work and now you have to preoccupy yourself so the looming thoughts don’t take over.
It’s hard being the only one awake because it can be lonely. It’s 3 am and you feel like the whole world has gone to sleep except you and it’s just really lonely. Can’t call or text anyone because no one likes to be woken up so there isn’t much you can do other than wait out the night. Protip: DO NOT WAKE UP THE PERSON SLEEPING NEXT TO YOU (if there is such a person) IT’S ANNOYING AND JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN’T SLEEP DOESN’T MEAN WE SHOULD SUFFER THE NEXT DAY WITH YOU. If you live alone, Congrats! you can do much more than those who were fortunate enough to find someone who would be willing to put up with their shit.
What to Do?
The way I see it, you have two choices: try to find something to put you back to sleep or just accept it and get some stuff accomplished. These things will address both.
I want to go back to sleep:
Sex. If you’re not alone, and the person next to you is of romantic interest, the only exception to waking someone up would be for this reason. Sex releases hormones that calm you down and can put your active mind to rest. Plus you get some exercise at the same time so it’s a win win. Masturbation is also an acceptable substitute if you find sex is not an option.
Read a book. I should clarify that you shouldn’t read a book that you’re really interested in or else you won’t be able to put it down, thus being counteractive. Choose something that you’ve gotten sleepy from reading before, a textbook, a book written by a wealthy white man who claims he has the answer to success, Twilight. Any of the listed types should do it. Again, Do Not Choose A Book You’re Interested In.
Yoga. Yoga is very relaxing and maybe releasing some energy is just what you needed. Nothing really advanced just simple poses: dead man’s pose, down dog, cobra, happy baby, cobbler (also called butterfly), Deep lunge, Crescent Moon, Bridge, Child’s pose, etc. (Names of poses may vary)
Take a walk. If you can take a little night walk to get those endorphins going and relax that mind.
Write down everything that’s on your mind. Maybe you have an overactive mind or you are stressed about things you need to do; writing helps. If you write it down then it’s there in the morning and you no longer have to think about it. I should also take this time to mention that you should avoid and electronics.
Avoid Electronics. The bright screens will keep your mind awake and then you’ll never fall asleep. Stay away from the temptation as much as possible, it won’t help.
Avoid the color blue. Seeing blue before bed or while you’re awake will mess things up because your brain has learned that blue= sky= awake. I think you get where I’m going with this. This would also be a good reason why you should stay off the computer.
Take a shower. Have the nice water soothe and relax your mind
No late night snacking. If you eat something then your stomach has to send messages up to the brain to release enzymes to digest your food. This is just extra work on the brain (the main thing you should take away is that your brain needs to relax). HOWEVER, SOME CAMOMILE TEA OR WARM MILK IS ACCEPTABLE. The stomach digests liquids in 20 minutes so it shouldn’t be much of a problem.
Take a sleeping pill. THIS IS ONLY A LAST RESORT UNDER EXTREME CONDITIONS. If you need sleep that bad and the other methods haven’t worked then this may be all you have left. You’re addicted to taking them then I suggest you quit right away or else you’ll become dependent on them. See a specialist if problem worsens.
I’m already awake so what’s the point of going back to sleep?:
Study Time. What better things do you have to do at this time?
Craft. What better things do you have to do at this time?
Paint. What better things do you have to do at this time?
Exercise. What better things do you have to do at this time?
Blog. What better things do you have to do at this time?
Write a profession of your love for someone. What better things do you have to do at this time?
Go Clubbing. What better things do you have to do at this time?
Bake. What better things do you have to do at this time?
Work on your novel that you keep telling people so much about. What better things do you have to do at this time?
Plan a robbery. What better things do you have to do at this time?
Watch Netflix. What better things do you have to do at this time?
Play video games. What better things do you have to do at this time?
Discover new music. What better things do you have to do at this time?
Honestly you can do whatever you want at this time it’s all up to you. Just don’t get crazy.
Well that was fun. Good luck to all my night owls. Goodnight.