Back to Life, Back to Reality

Prompt: After an especially long and exhausting drive or flight, a grueling week at work, or a mind-numbing exam period — what’s the one thing you do to feel human again?

After a long day of any activity outside of my house I end up doing my usual routine; sitting in my room and listening to music that starts slow and calming then leads up to funky and fast.

Ever since I got my first iPod me and music have been inseparable. Once Limewire (remember this? It was more infected with bugs and viruses than a seasoned hooker) was introduced into my life shortly after, it was all over. I never left my room, I hardly communicated to my family because I was too busy listening to a song whether it be in my head or ears. Music really had this profound effect on my soul and body, I could make my heart race and chills roll down my spin when an artist hit the perfect note. It was like I lived in those notes, a single octave higher and everything in the world seemed just. Music gave me the sensation of falling in love when I felt I never could. It cuddled me at night. It made my problems smaller. Music became life. On top of all the other things previously listed it also fueled my imagination.

I never had an imaginary friend, I didn’t have a special place that I would go to as a kid, I was actually a realistic type of kid. I took life seriously and if i couldn’t see it then I didn’t believe in it. This changed in middle school. Once Music cast it’s spell over me, I was transported to a different place. It began with pretending that I was friends with celebrities and I’m guilty to mouthing out my conversations with these people…It got to the point where I had a created an entire life for myself complete with a spouse and a job, and real-life struggles like how am I going to finish the project before Monday or faking fights with my fake partner (complete with music) and later realizing I had made a mistake and running back into the house and apologizing with the words of a song.

I now realize that this may me sound a bit crazy but I swear I’m not! I was just making up for the lost years in imagination. I was still fairly young when I did this so I would also find some spy sounding music and play capture the Russian spy in my backyard as I climbed trees and ducked and covered so I wouldn’t be seen. If I was sad I pretended I had just gone through a break up and would listen to break up songs as I looked out the window to a gloomy sky. I pretended I had my own talk show or web show and would create a playlist and set list for the new episode. My music obsession turned into a job almost as I created playlists and found the perfect to a situation in my head ( or formed a situation around a song). This really came in handy when I was made Sound Designer for my school’s theater company. Come to think of it…it was almost like I was meant to have that job…huh.

That’s how I like to unwind, with some music and a pinch of imagination to make me forget about my life and create one where I’m in control and know exactly what to say and do. If only I could be that prepared in reality.

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